Naked Seattle Man

As this is my last post for my Digital Storytelling class for this blog, I wanted to end with one of my favorite (and possibly most traumatizing) travel stories.

This is the story of the Naked Seattle Man.

My last night in Seattle, where I was interning for the 2018 summer for the Union Gospel Mission, the other interns and I decided to walk down to Pike’s Market for the last time.

We took pictures together, we ate at our favorite pizza place, and we enjoyed the fresh air of the Puget Sound for the last time.

Instead of taking an Uber back to the house, we decided to walk back to our house and take in the city. 

Matt, who was my boyfriend at the time, and I started to trail behind the rest of the group as we reflected on the summer and the fun times we had.

We were walking up a long flight of wide stairs that led up through a large clearing between buildings, when all of a sudden, Matt’s eyes grew wide.

“Do NOT look to your right,” he says very sternly, sounding alarmed.

I’m very confused. Is it a drug deal? Is someone getting murdered? Does someone have a gun to my head?

So of course I do what ANY logical girlfriend would do in this situation, and I looked to the right.

And what I saw stole my sweet, Iowan innocence away from me forever.

Naked Seattle Man.

He was completely naked, except for the running shoes on his feet. He was walking, bouncing with every step down the stairs that we were walking up. He had earbuds in his ears, and was holding an iPod Nano. He seemed completely oblivious to the fact that all of his body parts were flapping around for all of Seattle to see.

I wish I could say that I handled the situation with maturity and grace, however, I was so shocked I turned to Matt and could only exclaim, “WHAT?” 

He responded, “I TOLD you not to look,” but I could not stop freaking out that I just saw this random man’s weiner.

Mid-panic from me, a man yells down from his balcony, “So what? He’s naked. Get over it,” which only made me question whether this event was an isolated occasion, or a regular tradition.

Either way, what Naked Seattle Man was up to that night will haunt me forever. My list of questions is endless. What IS his story? Was he sleep walking? Under the influence of some kind of drug? A frat boy being hazed? A pervert of some sort? Was he caught? What are even the legal punishments of walking around Seattle buck naked carrying an iPod Nano?

I guess I’ll probably never find the answers to my questions, but if you ever journey to the Seattle area, beware of the Naked Seattle Man, you never know where he could be lurking next.